Muslim religious Society and Marriage

Alhamdulliah, I born and broughtup in a highly religious environment, where missing a single prayer lead to anger from parents or teachers. Dars e Quraan after ever fajr prayer and Dars e Hadith after every Asar prayer was a gift of Allah SWT. During school days, we studied more about islam, its true sprit and sometime microscopic details of some topics, than math, science, social, etc., .

After coming out of schooling, I joined Government junior college (boys), at my native place, Karimnagar, AP, India, for two year pre-university. Though the collage was entirely different, Allah SWT help me with a membership of Muslim organization. I used to got to college in morning and in the evening I attended their programs, mostly dars e quraan and Dars e hadith. During this time I read good amount of religious literature too. Even this time my inclination was more towards religious studies rather than Maths, Science and other subjects.

After finishing my pre-university course I joined Computer Science Engineering, near my home, with the grace of Allah the Almighty and an excellent guidance and counsellings from my dear father. Here things started turning. I made friendship with all the students who either top in class or very good in programming. The collage was 13KM away from my home, and everyday going and coming back made me tired. During I could only attend prayers and support local Muslim community and organizations during weekends (we had only Sunday, holiday). I made me to think about my status in class and made me more competitive.

To cut the long story short, I have good religious and engineering background. Alhamdullaih, I know people from both religious community and people who are known as world leaders in technology and innovation.

Before start a search for my life partner (in Indian sub-continent, usually parent do this as responsibility) my lovely mother asked me about my choice. I was not shy to explain her my choice, I am looking for a beautiful girl, considering religiousness as a inherent. I was not worried about her education, but better if she is graduation by which she can help her children :)

When my mother spread this word in religious community she receive lots of comments. few of them are for you.. It is just spread of mouth, my mom rarely visit someones home to see a girl, I never heard her speaking something ill about a girl. She just say not suitable for me. But still the so call Religious community have following point in every talk they make.

1. Quoting the following hadith:

Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman is
married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her
beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman
[otherwise] you will be a loser.'"

Being form a religious family and know the hadith and not considering girls who are religious but not good looking show your level of religiousness. They also give examples of people who got married just on the basis of religion.

The above hadith is no doubt gives a clear direction and Alhamdulliah I strongly believe and try to get a pious woman as a life partner. Apart from that I m looking for someone who suits me. I look above average and looking for someone who is pious and above average in looks.

Most of the religious people say rejecting proposal is not sign of a religious man. They also add that they want to see my wife, how beautiful she is?
I want to say them please read the history of Islam carefully and try to learn and apply it to real life, life will be easy and full of happiness.

Do remember When Hazrath Umar Farooq RA went with the marriage proposal, of his daughter Hazrat Hafsa RA, to Hazrat Osman RA. Hazrat Osman RA denied the proposal. I t clearly indicates that if someone doesn't fit others criteria they can humbly deny them. It is not a bad practice, as Allah SWT set men and woman free to select a life partner of their choice.

The examples they quote neither suitable nor comparable to my situations, I am sorry to not consider them.

2. Why do we look for someone on such a high scale of religiousness and beauty, as we know one day we are going to die.

We all believe that one day we are going to die and the real life start afterwords. I ask a simple question, why do we try to get best available thing in every walk of life? For example, we try to get best education from best university in world. We try to get best deals in our business. We try to be top ranked in exams.. I ask why?? A general answer for this is when try for best everywhere why not try to have best life partner. If I have time, patience and sufficient resources, Inshallah I will try to find the best possible life partner. It should not harm someone, Inshallah.

I pray Allah SWT to help me and family members in this search of right life partner.

Conclusion: If you are religious and want to follow Islam in real life, society expect you to take whatever comes to you closing your eyes on the name of religion. I strongly oppose this. I feel, if someone is more religious he should get best here and hereafter. This is both in case boys and girls. May Allah will support all of them. Ameen :)

Inshallah, every question will have blog as Answer after little more research for making them more informative. Keep reading and following next posts. Don't forget to give your comments and suggestions.

My background 'n' marriage

Life is pretty interesting by this time. Alhamdulliah almost all the time proved lucky :) But this time, it is a puzzled situation I never faced before ;). Every time I had few good options before making a final decision. Most of the options are far reachable to others..

This time the task at hand is really complex. I m trying to find RIGHT life partner for ME. And all my blogs will do it for me for few days (I m sorry for this). Do not forget to check my own matrimoney ad :)

I belong to a very religious (not very high according indian cast system, which I recently came to know) family. I studied in an urdu and arabic medium school, where I learned Arabic language, Quraan, Hadith and Fiq apart from my other subjects. I passed 10th Standard in 1995 and after 12 years I see myself as Best PhD student in the country. 'I was IBM outstanding researcher for the year 2006' ;)

My parents, friend, and my coworkers think that I m not ready for the marriage. The moment I say, I m ready there will be a big queue and I can select the best among them. I wish that would have been true Ameen.

Fortunately or unfortunately myself and my parents are facing difficulties in the process of making a decision. There are few reasons and Inshallah you will get the analysis of it in next posts.

I have a suggestion for everyone that 'Start your search EARLY'. Be confident and keep trying. If you think someone is suitable go ahead and talk to them. Initially you can have few options but slowly narrow it and in a short time finalize everything , and have faith in Allah SWT's decision :)

Keep reading and commenting my next posts.. You will feel it interesting as I will talk about going towards an internation marriage, problem of Indian Muslim community, Simple solutions and workout tips with parents and all.

I wish you a great luck for your search :)